Public speaking has never been a problem for me. For somebody who can be a little shy (more so when I was younger) this was, and is still, always surprising to me. To this day I am still trying to figure out why but hey as a rising teacher, not complaining 🙂
My senior year of high school I gave a speech to the students, faculty, staff, and community families of Sanborn Elementary School (My former school!) titled “Count on Me.” The theme of the speech was leadership and I was asked to speak about my running career and how the sport has shaped my ability to assume leadership with pride. I spent most of the speech talking about athletics, specifically the time I spent guiding my cross country and track teams as captain and anchoring several 4×800 relays that not only broke school records but also won State Championships and qualified for Nationals. While these were certainly exciting victories, I wanted to emphasize the importance of friendship and trust when running for a massive team and on a successful relay. You can’t only think about yourself. You have to think about the entire team and how you can use your talent to best help everybody.
I randomly stumbled upon this speech a few days ago and while reading I could not help but envy this girl’s confidence and ability to tackle races with no fear and a competitive thirst to always finish in the best possible, and extremely exciting, way for her team. I momentarily envied this girl even though this girl was in fact former me – a girl I now know had lots of room to grow as a confident, worldly, and resilient young woman.
While athletics dominated most of the speech, by the end I called out my two sisters, Caroline and Grace, and then my little brother Joseph, all of whom were sitting in the audience as Sanborn Elementary students. I spoke directly to them as I said that another important part of leadership for me involves being the best possible older sister for them, and daughter for my parents, ensuring that they feel loved, and can look up and come to me with anything. I paused after reading this section of the speech and placed emphasis on the fact that in order for all of this to happen…I need to count on myself. This speech was spoken over 5 years ago and this last portion still and will always ring true.
My days breaking school records and anchoring State Championship relays may be over. But my role as an older sister and daughter will forever be part of my identity, no matter where I am or what feat I am trying to endure and conquer. As I said in my speech to all those elementary students, the act of trust and counting on myself will always be a task that will help my leadership and humbling confidence to thrive. I struggled with this all throughout my time at Bates, constantly packing my schedule until there was nothing that could possibly be added. And while I know I need to work on this and tell myself so every day, while here in Česky Têšín this is still a task I hold for myself. I still need to count on myself in the Czech Republic to represent the United States as a woman who not only can lead and share her culture with students, teachers and community members, but also herself.
Here in the Czech Republic I also constantly find myself packing my schedule and barely giving myself time to breathe. I am afraid of being alone for too long and feel as though the answer is to constantly keep busy. However, last week I talked about chasing ordinary moments. When I do have some time to myself, and plan absolutely nothing during my day, I have realized that it is ok if these ordinary moments actually involve taking days simply staying put in Česky Têšín. I am continuously deciding on a routine that feels comfortable for me. Actions that were part of my every day in the United States, such as going for a simple run, doing work or meeting with friends in a café, reading a book, etc. can still be a part of my life here – I do not always have to report exploring a new country or city, coming across a new athletic hobby or meeting somebody new. Sometimes the best report can be embracing the simplicity of a routine that helps me feel a bit more grounded, relaxed and comfortable.
At the gymnasium, I decided to learn more about how I can exercise and keep up with my continuous battle with trust and let my students become the experts of the lessons. This involved a reversal of power roles: I prepped my students with the necessary information to learn, absorb, discuss and teach me the information. As such, I was able to grant the students agency and trusted them to learn and relay the necessary information in time for their Maturita Exams. For example, I gave students maps and articles about Washington D.C. – the articles spanned topics such as location, people, culture, institutions, sports, tourist sites, transportation and history – and then broke the students up into different groups and assigned each a different topic. They read and learned about their assigned topics then all the groups shared with each other. I probably spent about 20% of the lesson talking and the students the other 80%. While a little difficult for me to take a step back, this lesson design proved to be a great time for students to practice their auditory and comprehensive English language learning skills and for me to walk around and offer some productive, formative feedback. A small, but fantastic trust exercise and one that I will certainly keep using!
Throughout this week I also had three different after-school tutoring sessions, went to a mini concert where one of my students was invited to read her poems at the local library, taught four lessons at the primary school in Ostrava, and, finally, co-taught an adult conversation lesson at the American Corner with a fellow English Teaching Assistant who has also been placed to teach English in Česky Têšín. All of these are extra activities that I lead after school – they all allow for me to develop deeper connections with my students and more space to ask questions and learn from each other. For instance, when my student heard that I was coming to her poetry reading, she could barely hold in her excitement and it was very impressive to hear her eloquent reading of creative poetic verse.
Additionally, at the primary school this week I was able to test different teaching strategies and acquire a stronger skill set to manage behavioral issues and different learning styles in the classroom. While the students are certainly adorable, I appreciate when my host teachers help me balance having enthusiasm and respect for students, and each other, at all points during the lesson. All of these after school activities and opportunities are important but I need to work on ensuring that I still have enough time to wind down at the end of every day. I need to learn how to compromise and trust that I can still learn and progress forward as a Fulbright English Teaching Assistant and aspiring Masters student and teacher of English literature if I do not stretch myself too thin every week.
Finally, what’s a blog post without some report of a sporty adventure to the mountains 🙂 On Saturday, I went cross country skiing for the third time with Roman. I am very much still a beginner and with only two attempts at cross country skiing under my belt, I found myself absolutely terrified of all the downhills! There were definitely more up and down hill lines on this new path that we chose, and my ability to push myself past my comfort zone was certainly tested. I had trouble trusting that even when I feel as though I am zipping down the line uncontrollably, my skis will actually come to a safe halt by the end of the slope. Instead of trusting this fact, I slowly made my way downhill pizza style. All smiles of course. As I have learned, simply laughing through fear still makes for a beautiful day in the mountains with my Czech dad 🙂
Of course, I also went climbing in Cieszyn this week and was finally able to tackle a tough overhang section of the wall and climb as a leader multiple times. Climbing is more difficult and dangerous than cross country skiing…I need to, and will, work on translating my climbing skills to the slopes!
To wrap up this blog, a major takeaway for me this week was the significance of being self-aware. Specifically, being self-aware about what will make my day-to-day consistently more manageable. On the top of my head I can think of more meetings with American friends, coffee shop dates with myself and a book, family mountain trips and conversations with tea at Roman and Pavlina’s flat, and then some calls back home periodically throughout the upcoming weeks. The list is longer and will continue to grow I am sure 🙂 Also just rereading and listening to what I write in my blogs helps to jog my memory of everything that I have learned and experienced throughout this incredible journey!
Echoing my last blog, every day is a new day, packed with unexpected adventures, stories, and emotions. Sometimes the days are pretty extraordinary, while other days are harder to manage and feel rooted. Just thinking back to the ordinary moments that I mentioned above, I know that I can find and definitely have moments that keep me grounded and sane. These ordinary moments will grant me more mental energy to endure the inconsistent speed of trust when navigating an unfamiliar community in a new country. And I look forward to keep reporting this growing awareness via this reflective blog!
So what’s next, I am off to Prague on Friday and the U.S. on Saturday! 🙂 I am continually learning from this enriching experience and being patient with myself as I adjust back-and-forth between travels to the Czech Republic and America. I feel much more prepped and ready to navigate any disorientation that may (but also may not!) follow. It’s all about trust 🙂
Cheers to another week and I hope everybody is enjoying their winter routines!
Redefining Escape 