There are 4,065 miles between Boston and Česky Têšín. The journey between these two cities involves a few trains, some buses, multiple planes, several time zone shifts, spurts of nostalgia, unpredictable periods of mental strength and a whole lot of coffee. When I traveled back to the United States for Christmas, this journey absolutely wiped me out and the disorientation that followed left me a bit scattered and overwhelmed at various points in both places. This time around I felt more prepped. I used my first blog of 2020 to talk about one of my biggest goals for my Fulbright year: I want to be present, confident, and compassionate, regardless of physical presence, in the United States and the Czech Republic. Now, I am not only convinced that this is possible, but can also speak from experience. I have seen the reality of my goal take shape last week and this week with a little help from some resilience.
About 2 months have passed in 2020. I have established my Fulbright routine and know I am going to be in the Czech Republic until early July. As I have mentioned in my recent blogs, another one of my 2020 goals is to ensure that I keep my roots in my American and Czech homes thriving and perpetually growing. While living 4,000 miles apart certainly comes with many challenges, moments that are unique, priceless, and unforgettable always seem to come my way. Moments that never fail to catch me by surprise and would not have been possible had I not received this Fulbright grant and decided to set camp far east in the Czech Republic for the year.
Last week I visited the United States for my spring break. When I visited my U.S. home over Christmas, I spent the time back-and-forth between travels confronting cycles of disorientation. This time while I was in the U.S., even though I still spent the week traveling to many different places, the time absolutely flew by. Even when I know that time simply must keep moving and that there are many more beautiful memories to come, I can’t help but look back and wish for some past memories to stand still or even return. When I am surrounded by a life that feels so familiar and comfortable to me, it is hard to imagine why I would travel so far away. Over the course of the week I saw why.
I was back at my former college, Bates, last week, revisiting roots that I established there and didn’t realize were so important for me to return to. I spent the time at Bates visiting friends and loved ones who helped me through my college experience and, even if they don’t know, gave me the confidence and support to apply for Fulbright and to Graduate school. Even though I haven’t spoken to some of these people in months, we were able to pick up right where we left off. The three days I spent at Bates last week gifted me a warm and comforting feeling of forgotten nostalgia, one I know will carry me through the busy months ahead.
Additionally, I spent the week visiting my Michigan family who I usually see on Thanksgiving and then of course my Andover squad at our loving home on Alonesos Way (there is a new member to our family as an adorable black lab named Jackie has been welcomed into our ever-growing home). These were quick but lovely visits and I appreciated the beautiful spontaneity of both reunions 🙂
Finally, what made this time in the United States even more special was that I was able to spend the majority of the days with Alex, who visited me in Europe over my first Thanksgiving week away from home. Long distance relationships are without a doubt challenging. That said, if I wasn’t already convinced already, this week I again saw that there is absolutely nothing to worry about. Whenever we have reconnected this year, I realize just how much we trust each other and that there is no need to overthink distance. No matter where I am, in the U.S. or Czech Republic, we are both present with each other. He met me at the Logan Airport upon my midnight arrival, listen to me freak out when I was convinced my flights to the states were going to be canceled because of storms in London, and traveled with me to Boston, Grosse Pointe, Lewiston, Freeport, Portland, and Andover. While at each place we either revisited some of our favorite spots or found some new ones 🙂
It’s funny I mentioned at the beginning of this blog that Boston and Česky Têšín are over 4,000 miles apart. I don’t know how many miles Alex and I traveled together during the week, but I do know we took a crazy amount of public transportation and Alex spent many hours driving from place to place. But it didn’t matter because we were together, simply enjoying what little time we are able to spend with each other this year. I will always remember up to the last moment in Boston’s Logan Airport before I left to fly back to the Czech Republic… Alex sped his way from Brunswick, Maine after a race to say goodbye even when the time between when he was going to arrive and when I needed to be at my gate was tight and within minutes apart. By some miracle, we were able to see each other and shared a unique, special, and romantic moment that captured just how far our relationship has come and how much we care about each other – a moment we would not have been able to share had I decided to stay and find work in Boston after graduating from Bates.
At times, Fulbright is arduous, especially when moving back and forth between homes; they are both so different and personally cherished in their own way. But moments like the one I was able to experience at the Logan Airport last Saturday night with Alex, remind me of Fulbright’s invaluable worth. Keeping this memory in mind, I knew I needed to fly back to the Czech Republic with a mindset that could balance vulnerability, patience, and happiness – a mindset able to soak in beautifully unplanned moments and watch them become more frequent. These reminders of love give me the strength to keep pushing myself through strenuously rewarding opportunities that I face every day.
After the Christmas break, I returned to the Czech Republic terrified for my first lesson at the gymnasium. I didn’t let myself feel nervous this time around. While in my first English seminar Monday morning, teaching felt natural and I found myself very confident about the lesson, in spite of planning late the night before because of my delayed train arrival from Prague. All throughout the week I saw this feeling of impenetrable confidence continually unfold as I routinely planned, re-planned, and reorganized lessons without agonizing over the process. With each passing week, I am learning to relax and exhale through ordinary routines. Now, I look forward to planning lessons and figuring out the best way to ensure the same lesson productively works for different classes.
I also had a surprise observatory visit from my school’s headmaster during one of my Thursday lessons about how to write a blog post – a seemingly fitting lesson for me and my students this year. I was unaware that this visit was happening but was pleasantly surprised by the results. He thoroughly analyzed the different parts of my lesson and how I was able to help the students. After discussing the progress I have made at the school this year, I helped him with his English in his office. All in all, another unexpected, amusing, unplanned but very rewarding event that gave me some light for the rest of the school year 🙂
Additionally, I was able to pick my running club back up with one of my Maturita students this week. I ran with this student and her aunt and together we explored a more residential area of Česky Têšín. I have been here in Česky Têšín for over 6 months at this point and am still realizing that there are several areas of my city to discover and explore, including an impressive, beautiful new stadium that opened at the gymnasium. This project took less than a year to build and serves as another image of how change and progress happens rapidly without even realizing it at times. While being back in the United States is comforting and familiar, and while I have certainly found a fitting daily routine here in the Czech Republic, there is still so much to learn and discover in both places.
I found another example of this realization on Saturday in Ostrava. I met with my colleague from the primary school and together we went on a beautiful, reflective, and energizing walk through some hidden forests within 10 minutes of the school. Ostrava is known as a rugged, industrial city in the Czech Republic but, as I saw on Saturday, definitely has many hidden gems to seek out. Then we spent a relaxing afternoon at a Wellness Center in a hotel of Ostrava Vitkcovice. The time I spent in Ostrava was yet another unexpectedly refreshing day and reminder to soak in some quiet moments during the long winter weeks of my Fulbright year.
Finally, I had a very homey and heartwarming reunion with Roman and Pavlina in their flat Monday and Thursday night. We spent the evenings sharing memories from both of our trips and looking forward to what’s ahead. Roman and I even went climbing twice this week; we are continually trying new climbing moves to prep for the Bohemian rocks in the spring…this spring trip is getting closer and closer which feels crazy!
While visiting their flat, I also tried on some ski boots, skis, helmet, and googles for my ski trip 🙂 After ensuring that Pavlina’s old ski boots fit my feet, and that they could click onto Roman’s old skis, I shared some of my favorite moments from my U.S. trip, including that last 30 minutes in Logan Airport, and they shared some of their cross-country ski adventures from the best winter week of the season! As always, these evenings with Roman and Pavlina served as lovely examples and reminders of how my U.S. and Czech homes are interconnected. We are constantly texting each other from tens, hundreds, and even thousands of miles away, keeping each other updated about not only what we are doing but also those we care about and love from other parts of our lives.
Before leaving my Andover home last week, I stumbled upon the following canvas of a quote written by L.R. Knost, an award-winning author, feminist, and social justice activist, hanging up on our kitchen wall:
Life is amazing. And then it’s awful.
And then it’s amazing again.
And in between the amazing and awful
it’s ordinary, mundane, and routine.
Breathe in the amazing. Hold on through the awful.
And relax and exhale during the ordinary.
That just living
heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life.
And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.
My eyes always seem to scout out introspective quotes. When reading this on my way out of my house, leaving Andover until July, I found myself smiling about the undeniable truth behind these words. March is a hectic month with school trips, German Fulbright conferences, Maturita exam preparation, and Graduate School decisions. I always feel restless when life seems too quiet, then a bit overwhelmed when there seems to be no time to breathe. However, as I prep for this crazy week and month, I know that I want to hold onto unforgettably amazing memories I have been able to experience up to this point, brave through stressful moments that may challenge my confidence and learn to relax and exhale through the rare quiet days. And every day, in spite of it being amazing, awful, or ordinary, I will always reach out to those I love in the United States and the Czech Republic. We all help each other in more ways than we may ever realize. As L.R. Knost says, this is just “living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life.” And based on my most recent week in the United States, and return to the Czech Republic, I can attest to his final words…this life is breathtakingly beautiful.
Today I leave for a week-long ski course with my students to Velke Karlovice in the Beskydy Mountains. This course will feel like the boating trip in September except I am more familiar with most of the students and I know how to ski. I haven’t been downhill skiing in a couple of years but this will be an entertaining and stimulating change in routine. Then, in two weeks time, I will be teaching a lesson about U.S. geography. There are many regions of the United States I have not had time to visit so I am looking forward to exploring and learning more about them with my students.
So, with that, ahoj and happy March! Keep your head up high as spring will be here before we know it…just remember there are some beautiful moments sprinkled throughout every day in the winter as well. And relax and exhale through ordinary, mundane, and routine moments because to repeat…the result is breathtakingly beautiful 🙂
Redefining Escape 