Before every cross country and track race all throughout high school, both my parents would always send me messages to ease my nerves. My mother would text me saying she heard Queen’s We are the Champions or Alicia Key’s This Girl is on Fire and would ensure me that she knew I could race my heart out and that it would go well. My father would always look to hear me laugh and see my smile, calling and texting me saying, “Now Sarah, whatever you do just don’t run backwards. And please don’t crawl. It’s easy. Just run faster!” Then he would come to me before the start of my race, whip out Electrolyte Jelly Beans and convince me that these were necessary to eat before my warm up. And before every race I would pretend to eat them and see him give me an approving nod of good luck 🙂
Even though I never knew what the outcome of the race would be, just knowing I had two loving parents looking out for me served as a gentle reminder that no matter the outcome, the race would happen and life would keep moving forward. During these trying times, this is the mindset I vow to keep. In the span of one week, everybody’s life has taken a turn and a giant pin has upheaved many plans for the coming months. It’s important to remember that we are all surrounded by family, friends, and loved ones and that life keeps moving forward as we love and uplift each other.
This past week has been the most challenging and emotionally taxing time of my Fulbright experience. Over the course of 48 hours, I had to make the impossibly difficult decision to leave the Czech Republic and fly back to the United States. I had many spring and summer plans with my Czech family, including a long-awaited trip to Bohemia to test my climbing skills with Roman, continue English lessons at Gymnázium Josefa Božka and watch my students graduate and complete their Maturita exam, and travel to other parts of Europe with family and loved ones. I knew the goodbye in June was going to be extremely tough so I was already prepping myself about how to best conclude the Fulbright experience. There are so many little things I wish I appreciated more in the moment. I didn’t realize I was going to have to completely depart a life I have established for myself during the past 7 months and leave my Czech family 3 months early. This type of conclusion deserves way more than 48 hours to fathom.
I am still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I was teaching at the gymnázium last Monday and life felt normal and routine. Even the next day life felt pretty normal. Then schools shut down in the Czech Republic and life took a turn. Every day I received more and more updates about US and European border and flight restrictions. Nationwide press conferences were being held and new, frightening, and more and more restrictive announcements were being made every day. There were too many unknowns and I was living each day in fear of what would happen next. Family and loved ones were calling to ensure I was safe and kept urging me to book a flight back home as soon as possible.
While I knew I had to leave to return to my family in America safe, in my head I was still very conflicted and kept working out scenarios that would allow for me to stay and finish my Fulbright year. Then, on Friday I found out that the Czech Republic would be closing its borders on Sunday night and Poland would be closing theirs on Saturday night. And there was no message about when these borders would be reopening. Listening to this news, I thought about how while I was living each day in fear, so was my family back home and I knew what I had to do. So, I booked the earliest, and what turned out to be the last possible flight for me to take, back to the states. It was still so hard to leave and still does not feel real.
There were so many goodbyes I needed to say in Česky Têšín and so little time to say them. With only 48 hours to pack up my life I knew I needed to spend as much time as I could with Roman and Pavlina, my Czech father and mother, because they have not only gifted me countless adventures in the mountains, classrooms and on climbing walls in the Czech Republic, Poland and Slovakia ( 🙂 ) but also the invaluable blessing of a beautifully supportive and loving family – a family that has shown me the sheer radiance of laughter and a wonderfully wide Czech/American smile. My Czech family helped me continue to grow as a confident, resilient, courageous, and empathetic daughter and it is still so hard for me to believe that I do not know when I will be able to sit in our favorite pub or in their flat. Even typing this now I feel the emotions stirring and the tears coming again.
While the week was unbelievably difficult, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I have to remind myself to remember and cherish the beautiful memories and life I had in the Czech Republic, up to my final night and morning in Roman and Pavlina’s flat – I was able to cook one of the only dinners I made for myself in Česky Têšín, scrambled eggs with some tea and my favorite Czech bread, and we laughed while watching presentations from their past family holidays. A warm and cozy evening and gentle reminder of the loving Czech family that I will always hold close to me and the many adventures that can and will happen. As I told Roman while walking to their garden on Saturday afternoon, “I have found that after devastating storms, a pretty special rainbow is ready to greet you.” And now it is all of our tasks to await the much-needed arrival of this rainbow.
I spent every minute with Roman and Pavlina until I finally had to depart Česky Têšín at 5:30 a.m. Pavlina then traveled to Prague with me – she greeted me at the airport when I arrived in August and gave me a big, emotional farewell huge when I departed a couple of days ago, an act that epitomizes the cyclical strength of our ever-growing relationship and my new roots in the Czech Republic. Then I began a 5,000-mile trek to my home in Andover. I woke up at 4:30 a.m. Czech time to catch an early train to Prague, then flew from Prague to London to New York. The travel was eerie and unnerving – another sign that I just needed to be with my family as soon as possible.
While the travel was frightening, by some miracle I was able to meet some fellow Fulbrigthers and travel with them. Together we let our emotions stir and uplifted each other as we moved from airport to airport, closer and closer to the United States. Again, not the goodbye we had hoped for, but at least we were together and that is extremely important to remember. Then, my mother graciously met me at my hotel in New York and we drove back to Andover. She had been texting Roman and Pavlina during my travel and this very fact brought me so much relief because in my heart I could see the interconnected strength, compassion, and love of both my families.
Between all the time differences from Prague to London to New York, I was up and traveling for over 24 hours and the entire 24 hours I was thinking about how incredible the past 7 months have been and how fortunate I was to be able to have felt such a strong bond and attachment to a country that is so far away from my home in the United States. Fulbright has gifted me way more than a prestigious scholarship. Fulbright has gifted me adventures, emotions, and an everlasting community and family that I could have never have guessed I would receive. I am so impressed by the students and colleagues at Gymnázium Josefa Božka and am extremely thankful Fulbright placed me here. Without this placement, I would have never met such a compassionate, bright, and supportive community of individuals in Česky Têšín, my fully rooted Czech home. I am so fortunate to have had this opportunity and know that I will be able to carry it with me to Harvard’s Graduate School of Education and wherever I end up tomorrow, next week, and many, many years down the line.
I have been back in the United States for a full day at this point and realize how important it is to be with family and loved ones right now. My Czech family made me feel so supported and loved while navigating a foreign lifestyle abroad and now I know that I have both my Czech and American families making me feel so supported, loved, and safe during this time of instability, confusion, and fear. Thinking back at everything that has changed over the course of this week, I realize and know that the remedy for all this change and confusion is to love a little harder, smile a little wider, and laugh a whole lot louder at past and present memories and future experiences to come.
While it may feel unfair about the turn of events life has brought us…it is important to be mindful of the fact that life still moves forward and it is so critical to embrace all the gentle reminders of the family, friends, and loved ones we have to keep us grounded, sane, and smiling. So, whip out your favorite board games, books, recipes, and photo albums. Enjoy and cherish family dinners and conversations. FaceTime those you miss from abroad. Keep each other close, smiling, and laughing. Then, soon a damn big rainbow will be waiting for us before we know it.
Keep living life and again…love a little harder, smile a little wider, and laugh a whole lot louder. Seek out those gentle reminders that keep us beaming and radiant. This is exactly what I will be doing as I work out ways to keep my lives in the United States and the Czech Republic interconnected and thriving in the coming months. Until next time….and I promise I will keep writing and there will be a next time…AHOJ! 🙂
Redefining Escape 
Must have been quite a trip Sarah. Glad you’re home!
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